Your life as art (and big news!)

Looking for the light and shadow and finding beauty

We are in Oregon this week and Washington the next, and it’s a big breath of fresh air. We lived in Oregon for 9 years, and the friendships run deep. Those years were formative to our family and my identity as a pastor and leader in many ways.

Beautiful Oregon coast (with light & shadow)

I shared big news on my socials that I am joining a new team to cultivate and shape a conversation on following Jesus by amplifying and telling the stories of Christians who are living intentionally and missionally. I’ll produce mini-documentaries, podcasts, and convene conversations, as well as write. After 30 years in Christian higher ed, this is quite a change. Like a category 4 storm of change.

Since the Outpouring, I have felt compelled to share the Bread of Life in more ways with more of my time. Also, in a time of so much global suffering, I want to add my shoulder to the movement and conversation that, as followers of Christ, we both love the Lord with our mind, soul, and strength, and love our neighbor as ourselves. I will be joining the team of the National Association of Evangelicals, which does bipartisan public advocacy work for the health of the nation, as well as bringing unity to about 40+ denominations through the gospel. Wonderfully, I will stay in my little Shire (that’s what I call Wilmore, where I live), working remotely for the most part.

I am starting to reflect on my journey as a leader at Asbury over the past 11 years, but even more, how my life has unfolded across decades in Christian higher education. I look forward to sharing more about this on my socials and substack.

This is a new era in my life, and it feels vulnerable to stand at the edge of something new, wondering how to follow God into a “new country” as Henri Nouwen calls it. I have felt confident (for the most part) in my role in higher ed over the years. Now, to try something new from the ground up is both energizing and scary. I remember that just as God has been with me these past years in the world of academia, God will be with me in the “new country”.

As I bag up my bags, so to speak, I want to reflect. Unfortunately, when I reflect, I can be all too prone to see the stumbles, missteps, things I dropped, let go of prematurely, or ways I fell short. Self-examination is important, true, but since I have a desire to improve compulsively, I want to reflect with an appraiser’s eye on a piece of art, instead of from my pressure to strive and “be better”. I want to reflect and behold the beauty, sharp edges, light, and shadow.

As I take a deep look at these past years, I want to see my life as art, not as machinery that was successful or broken.

If my life is a piece of art and I am the artist, what did I create over the years?

So, for Art Appreciation 101 on the piece entitled “Sarah at Life”, I ponder:

Not how did I succeed or fail, but— What is my life saying?

Not what did other people say was great, but—What draws me in and speaks to my spirit?

Not where did I mess up, but—Where does the light catch my eye?

Not what balls did I drop, but—What did my life leave out intentionally or unintentionally?

Not what is ugly, but—What part do I find uninteresting?

Not what negative emotions does it stir, but— What kind of feelings am I holding as I reflect on this piece? What do they tell me about my life and about being human?

Not what needs to be improved, but—What invites me into depth and beauty, what seems empty in my spirit?

Not what do I want to hide or forget about in shame, but—How does this piece tell the story of sin and redemption?

These past years of art are complete and finished.

This life thus far cannot be unpainted. It is done. Now is the time to savor, to reflect, to honor these years in my life with its light and shadow as a whole and complete. I wonder how you could hold your life up as art, not looking for the mistakes, but seeing it as a landscape of light and shadow, color and depth.

My verse over the past decade is James 1:2-4

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

God is my spiritual director. The Holy Spirit is the one who takes my path and uses it to transform me. (Of course, spiritual direction and spiritual friendship help me hear God most fully).

The Christian life is not about continuous improvement, but about the journey of sanctification. The first is all about my striving and straining. The second, sanctification, is about saying “yes” to the invitation to Jesus to go to the new place in God.

Friend, the work of God in our lives is holy work. Not perfect, not neat and tidy. Not everything-tied-up-a-bow. But real, true, and holy. When consecrated to God, the art of our lives is a Masterpiece.

Stay true & faithful.

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A few other notes:

1. Find me on Facebook and Instagram. I would love to see you on the socials!

2. If this post is encouraging to you, click the heart button for this post—it helps others find my substack. Thanks!

3. I am looking forward to growing this substack and starting a new one. Thanks for being on this journey with me! More to come.

4. We love the Oregon tidal pools!

Kai at the Oregon coast tidal pools by Yaquina Head